Funny Quotes About Life And Friends Rare Collection

Presenting you the Funny Quotes About Life And Friends Rare Collection.This is the finest collection of funny qutoes about life must read them and let me know your thoughts in the comments below.

Funny Quotes About Life And Friends

Funny Quotes About Life And Friends
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I knew I was an unwanted baby when I saw that my bath toys were a toaster and a radio. Joan Rivers

It is easy for me to love myself, but for ladies to do it is another question altogether. Johnny Vegas

I don’t think anyone should write their autobiography until after they’re dead. Samuel Goldwyn

I was a vegetarian until I started leaning toward the sunlight. Rita Rudner

I love fools’ experiments. I am always making them. Charles Darwin

I love Mickey Mouse more than any woman I have ever known. Walt Disney

I cannot sing, dance or act; what else would I be but a talk show host. David Letterman

As far as I’m concerned, ‘whom’ is a word that was invented to make everyone sound like a butler. Calvin Trillin

I wear a necklace, cause I wanna know when I’m upside down. Mitch Hedberg

The way taxes are, you might as well marry for love. Joe E. Lewis

If you want to be thought a liar, always tell the truth. Logan Pearsall Smith

What do I know of man’s destiny? I could tell you more about radishes. Samuel Beckett

How many people here have telekenetic powers? Raise my hand. Emo Philips

If you cannot get rid of the family skeleton, you may as well make it dance. George Bernard Shaw

Flattery is like cologne water, to be smelt, not swallowed. Josh Billings

California is a fine place to live – if you happen to be an orange. Fred Allen

The one thing you shouldn’t do is try to tell a cab driver how to get somewhere. Jimmy Fallon

I’m for whatever gets you through the night. Frank Sinatra

If you want a guarantee, buy a toaster. Clint Eastwood

One man is as good as another until he has written a book. Benjamin Jowett

Forty for you, sixty for me. And equal partners we will be. Joan Rivers

That’s my only goal. Surround myself with funny people, and make sure everyone has a good time and works hard. Joe Rogan

We owe a lot to Thomas Edison – if it wasn’t for him, we’d be watching television by candlelight. Milton Berle

I spent a year in that town, one Sunday. George Burns

I believe in rules. Sure I do. If there weren’t any rules, how could you break them? Leo Durocher

Every dogma has its day. Anthony Burgess

I’m like old wine. They don’t bring me out very often – but I’m well preserved. Rose Kennedy

I saw a stationery store move. Jay London

If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter. Jack Benny

Weather forecast for tonight: dark. George Carlin

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