Quotes About Life Funny But True Rare Collection

Presenting here Quotes About Life Funny But True Rare Collection.You will find something funny in these qutoes but i am sure that you will also find some lesson in these amazing quotes about life funny but true series.Keep reading and sharing.

Quotes About Life Funny But True

Quotes About Life Funny But True
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I’ve always wanted to go to Switzerland to see what the army does with those wee red knives. Billy Connolly

Older people shouldn’t eat health food, they need all the preservatives they can get. Robert Orben

You can lead a man to Congress, but you can’t make him think. Milton Berle

Society is like a stew. If you don’t stir it up every once in a while then a layer of scum floats to the top. Edward Abbey

I could sooner reconcile all Europe than two women. Louis XIV

I don’t deserve this award, but I have arthritis and I don’t deserve that either. Jack Benny

I never expected to see the day when girls would get sunburned in the places they now do. Will Rogers

Be obscure clearly. E. B. White

Why don’t you get out of that wet coat and into a dry martini? Robert Benchley

Conversation would be vastly improved by the constant use of four simple words: I do not know. Andre Maurois

A committee is a group that keeps minutes and loses hours. Milton Berle

I don’t deserve any credit for turning the other cheek as my tongue is always in it. Flannery O’Connor

Everybody talks about the weather, but nobody does anything about it. Charles Dudley Warner

Cleanliness becomes more important when godliness is unlikely. P. J. O’Rourke

One of the disadvantages of wine is that it makes a man mistake words for thoughts. Samuel Johnson

O Lord, help me to be pure, but not yet. Saint Augustine

I read part of it all the way through. Samuel Goldwyn

I’m the only man in the world with a marriage licence made out to whom it may concern. Mickey Rooney

I’m an optimist, but an optimist who carries a raincoat. Harold Wilson

If it weren’t for Philo T. Farnsworth, inventor of television, we’d still be eating frozen radio dinners. Johnny Carson

Working with Julie Andrews is like getting hit over the head with a valentine. Christopher Plummer

I would never die for my beliefs because I might be wrong. Bertrand Russell

A child of five would understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five. Groucho Marx

I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn’t it. Groucho Marx

I don’t believe in the after life, although I am bringing a change of underwear. Woody Allen

The four building blocks of the universe are fire, water, gravel and vinyl. Dave Barry

There’s a great power in words, if you don’t hitch too many of them together. Josh Billings

I don’t need you to remind me of my age. I have a bladder to do that for me. Stephen Fry

Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you fall into an open sewer and die. Mel Brooks

Thinking is one thing no one has ever been able to tax. Charles Kettering

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Funny Quotes And Sayings About Life Rare Collection

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